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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27789865">I Know Where to Hit You the Hardest</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/blue_pointer/pseuds/blue_pointer'>blue_pointer</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>A Glorious Retelling [35]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Critical Role (Web Series)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Action, Ambushes and Sneak Attacks, Angst and Humor, BAMF Scanlan, Balcony Scene, Battle, Canon Timeline, Daggers, Dark Fantasy, Death From Above, Disguise, Don't copy to another site, Elven Intuition, Episode: c01e058 A Cycle of Vengeance, Grog can't read, Jenga, Lies, M/M, Minor Keyleth/Vax'ildan (Critical Role), Minor Shaun Gilmore/Vax'ildan, Misunderstandings, Pranks and Practical Jokes, Psychological Warfare, Public Nudity, Rakshasas, Relationship Issues, Robe of Flaying, Secret Relationship, Stabbing, clandestine meetings, ill met by moonlight, it's a trap, twin talks, unconventional signatures</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 14:26:54</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,783</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27789865</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/blue_pointer/pseuds/blue_pointer</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>An old fiend has a special surprise in store for Vax.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Shaun Gilmore/Vax'ildan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>A Glorious Retelling [35]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1975831</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>27</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. It's All I Think About</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Vax gets ready to spend a spicy night alone with Gilmore. But the cycle of vengeance has been set in motion.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Once Vex’ahlia finally fucking returned, Vax spoke with her briefly, letting her know that he knew, and reminding her to keep both eyes open where Percy was concerned. And then Vax rushed upstairs to make sure he was ready to spend the night with Gilmore. Only to find a large pool of oil in front of his door. Immediately, Vax knew who had done it. But what had Grog really intended? For Vax to slip and fall? For him to stain his clothes? What? It was one of the most ill-conceived traps Vax had ever seen. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He decided to pay Grog back, not just for the stupid prank, but for kissing Gilmore the week before; Vax never had repaid him for that. And so, he took a scoop of oil and proceeded to write insulting things on Grog’s door. Vex’ahlia passed by, pointing out that Grog couldn’t read, which was something Vax hadn’t thought of. He tried to use the shortest words he could in order to get his point across. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Then, for good measure, he rubbed the remaining oil on his butt cheeks and left his “signature” at the bottom of the message. Whether or not Grog got the insult, Vax was laughing his arse off after leaving it, and his own amusement was really the point. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Feeling he’d succeeded in a job well done, Vax took off his fancy dress suit and grabbed a nightshirt. Gilmore had said he was going to come to Vax, right? So now, all he had to do was wait. Vax climbed into bed, thinking he probably would have plenty of time to rest before Gilmore came back. He didn’t think he’d fall asleep.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>*</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Vax awoke some time later to a knock at his bedroom door. What? How long had he been asleep? “Yes?” he called out, groggy, uncertain who would be polite enough to knock so late at night. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wait, Gilmore? That wasn’t a very stealthy way to sneak into his bedroom, but maybe he had a different kind of evening planned than Vax had. The robe Gilmore gave him was unexpected; not really Vax’ildan’s style, but it was nice. And from Gilmore, so of course he was going to put it on. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Vax stepped behind the changing screen to slip into the robe, not because he’d somehow forgotten the number of times that Gilmore had seen him naked, but because he’d left the bedroom door open a crack, and there was no telling who might walk by. It was cold in Vax’ildan’s bedroom. He didn’t need anyone getting the wrong impression. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Once he’d slipped his nightshirt off, Vax suddenly remembered he still had Grog’s oil smeared all over his buttocks. That might be fine for later, but not now, when they were about to go for a walk together, and he was getting ready to put on an expensive garment made of fine fabric which would no doubt stain and perhaps ruin if it were to soak up the oil on his arse. So, feeling like a complete dick, Vax wiped off the oil as quickly and as thoroughly as he could. The robe felt good against his skin; kind of sexy. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Vax really hoped they were not just going to go for a walk. The way Gilmore had left him wanting more in the dining hall earlier tonight, Vax had plans. And threats to fulfill. But maybe it should be about what Gilmore wanted tonight. His mood had been so strange the last time they’d been together. So Vax tried his best to be patient, and just let Gilmore tell him what he wanted. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was equally confused by why Gilmore had waited for him to change in the hall. Was he afraid if he saw Vax naked, he might lose control? When he joined Gilmore outside his room, he offered Vax his arm and Vax took it almost without hesitation. There was no one around, and two men walking arm in arm was the least scandalous thing Vax wanted to do with Gilmore tonight. He followed as Gilmore led the way up to one of the highest towers in the castle. Vax wasn’t sure he’d ever been up this high. It would be fun to explore, perhaps encounter a broom closet they could nip into... </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know a lot has happened these recent months,” Gilmore began, as they climbed the stairs. “I’ve been watching from afar, keeping tabs on your journey as best I can. But I still know so little.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>What? Was Gilmore referring to the last week? They’d been talking nearly every day before then. Gilmore led him up several flights of stairs, until Vax was starting to wonder if they could even go any higher. Then they walked out onto a tower balcony, with a view of the castle courtyard, and the city of Whitestone below. Vax wasn’t scared of heights, and the cool night air felt good. The moon was full. It was probably meant to feel romantic, but Vax felt on edge for some reason. Maybe it was because Gilmore had asked that they talk. That was the part of relationships where Vax rolled critical failures more often than not. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gilmore closed the door to the balcony and came to stand beside Vax, looking out at the view. Which was unlike Gilmore. Gilmore, who didn’t seem to see anything but Vax whenever they were alone together. It was intense, but in an affirming way. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Some time has passed, Vax. And much of the world has moved on to newer, greater threats.” What on earth was he talking about? Did Gilmore bring him out here to talk strategy for defeating the Chroma Conclave? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But true pain never heals.” Gilmore turned and stepped close to him, but the vibe was all wrong. He was looking into Vax’s eyes, but not with adoration; there was a quiet rage there. And Vax had never been in Gilmore’s presence without feeling even a flicker of adoration. </span>
</p><p><span>His depression and low self-esteem wanted Vax to think maybe he deserved this, that this was Gilmore getting back at him for the breakup two weeks ago. But Vax’s gut didn’t think so; Vax’s gut was increasingly telling him that something was wrong. This just was not how Gilmore acted.</span> <span>Especially after the way they’d left things earlier this evening. </span></p><p>
  <span>“You hurt me deeply. And continue to hurt.” Those words cut Vax like a knife.  He never wanted to hurt Gilmore. Never. But something in Gilmore’s tone still seemed off. “Agony for weeks. Months. Pain I had never experienced. It’s all I can think about.” </span>
</p><p><span>Wait, what? Vax was still looking into Gilmore’s eyes, trying to understand, to find some glimmer of the man he knew. Then he felt a sharp pain in his abdomen, and looked down to see a curved blade protruding from his stomach, Gilmore’s hand on the hilt.</span> <span>He jerked Vax in close, the way Gilmore had done in his more passionate moments, roughly, speaking right into Vax’s face: “It’s all I think about.” He growled, allowing Gilmore’s form to flicker so that Vax could see it was not really Gilmore at all.</span></p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. With a Little Help from My Friends</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Vax is swiftly losing his battle with Hotis. Enter Vox Machina.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The first thing Vax felt, apart from the pain, was actually relief. This wasn’t Gilmore. Gilmore wouldn’t act like this. Gilmore loved him. Gilmore was warm and kind and caring, and physically affectionate. Most importantly, Gilmore would never stab him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>This bastard. He needed to learn a lesson. Using someone Vax loved to hurt him, that was diabolical. He would pay. If the rakshasa thought Vax had killed him brutally the first time, he hadn’t seen anything yet. </span>
</p>
<p><span>But Hotis didn’t seem finished with him. As he pulled the blade out, he took a swipe at Vax with his offhand. Vax turned away just in the nick of time, the tiger claws missing him by a fraction of an inch. But now that the blade was out of his gut, the</span> <span>wound was so much worse. While the knife had still been inside him, there was just the initial pain of being stabbed. Now there was blood gushing out of the wound, his lacerated intestines a screaming red void of pain. And the only thing Vax could do was put pressure on the wound as Hotis slashed at him again with the dagger, cutting a small gash across his cheek. At least the cut was not deep enough to deliver the poison, or deal much damage. Unfortunately, the real damage had already been done. </span></p>
<p>
  <span>Vax just wished the demon would dispense with the Gilmore disguise all together. It hurt his heart to be fighting for his life against one of the people he loved most in the world--or at least the appearance of him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>With the amount of damage he’d taken, the smart thing for Vax to do would have been to run. But Vax wasn’t smart. And, more importantly, though Hotis had clearly brought him up here to kill him, Vax couldn’t let the demon get away again. He knew about them: not just Gilmore and Vax, but Whitestone, and all of the refugees, and his Vox Machina family. If the rakshasa got away, he could just tell the dragons where they were, and everything would be over. So though it would have been smart to run, Vax decided to hold his ground and capture the demon instead. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Unfortunately, Hotis was stronger than he was, and outweighed Vax by at least 50 pounds. Still, Vax was not discouraged; he tried to grapple the rakshasa a second time...to no avail. In the seconds he had, the only other thing Vax could think to do was shout for help. “Assassins! Western tower and the courtyard! Jenga!” He shouted into the earring and toward where he hoped there were soldiers on the battlements below. Maybe someone would get here in time. Maybe. But Vax couldn’t leave without disabling Hotis first.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Vax had barely finished shouting when Hotis came at him again, having applied fresh poison to his dagger. Clawing at his face, Hotis thrust the knife into Vax’ildan’s ribs. The only good thing about that was it did not go in as deep this time. But Vax couldn’t take looking into Gilmore’s face for all of this. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He put his other hand over the newest wound, trying to gather himself for one last effort. But before he could, a Dimension Door appeared behind Hotis, and who should step out but Scanlan. Thank the gods for Scanlan! The gnome, however, looked very confused to see Gilmore clutching a bloody dagger, and Vax bleeding everywhere on a romantic lookout spot better suited for trysting than melee. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What the fuck’s going on, Gilmore?” Scanlan shouted. Hotis turned and hissed at him, which made the gnome jump a little. “Oh shit.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s not Gilmore, it’s a fucking demon!” Vax shouted at Scanlan. As if the hiss had not been indication enough. Seeing Hotis distracted, Vax tried to disarm him, wanting to get that poisoned blade away from him. Why had Vax left his room without his weapons? Oh, right. Because he’d been planning to get fucked, only he’d ended up getting </span>
  <b>fucked</b>
  <span> instead.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Vax grabbed the demon’s wrist, trying to get him to drop the knife, but Hotis was having none of it. He reached up with his offhand, and Vax watched in horror as Gilmore’s elegant, well-manicured fingers, which he knew so intimately, dug invisible claws into his skin, dragging them down the back of his hand, rending his flesh to the bone. </span>
  <span>Hotis was too damned strong. </span>
</p>
<p><span>In the distance, Vax heard three gunshots go off. What did that mean? Were his friends in danger, too? Well, he couldn’t worry about them now. Right now, Vax had to focus on staying alive.</span> <span>And, hard as he tried, he wasn’t able to break the demon’s grip on the knife. </span></p>
<p>
  <span>Well, there was just one more thing he could think of. Vax turned to look at Scanlan. “Follow me down!” And with no more than that, Vax grabbed onto Hotis and jerked back suddenly, flipping them both over the balcony. As they fell the two stories to the top of the castle, Vax closed his eyes, calming his mind. This was the first time he’d felt in control since the demon had appeared in his bedroom. When they hit the roof, the impact hurt. But all of the pain was worth it, because it meant Hotis was hurt, too. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>So why was the rakshasa the one who got to his feet first, when they’d hit the ground together? “You’re clever.” The only saving grace was that Hotis no longer looked like Gilmore. Thank gods. As he bent over Vax to gloat, all Vax had the energy to do was raise his middle finger in salute. “The feeling’s mutual,” Hotis growled. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He stabbed down at Vax, who lay helpless before him. But at the last moment, Vax dodged uncannily, and the knife just grazed his arm. But the second strike caught Vax square between the ribs, stabbing upwards into his kidney. Vax felt unbearable pain, and then lost consciousness.  </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>*</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>In the darkness, Vax heard a familiar voice calling him back. He opened his eyes to the last notes of Scanlan’s song. When he glanced over, he saw his friend nearby on the ground, the bloody Mythcarver lying too far away for him to reach. Hotis loomed over both of them, a deep gash in his shoulder which Vax could only think was Scanlan’s doing. How he’d done it, Vax did not know, but once again, the gnome had saved him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Now it was Vax’ildan’s turn. He grabbed Scanlan’s sword as he got to his feet, stabbing with the unfamiliar weapon to try and skewer Hotis through the back. But in his weakened state, Vax lost his balance and missed. At this point, Vax was taking no more chances. He wasn’t the only one in this battle anymore, but he was the one closest to death; so Vax turned and ran as far away from the demon as he could get. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>As he ran, he heard Percival fire two more rounds, and they sounded closer this time. All the same, Vax didn’t dare stop and look. He did, however, hear Scanlan sing again, a Healing Word this time. Somewhere above, Grog shouted, “Sweet anus! Reason to jump!” Vax looked back when he heard the jangle of Grog’s Chain of Return and watched the goliath throw his giant axe at Hotis. It hit and bounced off, but that was better than Vax had been able to do so far. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Next came Keyleth, leaping down into the courtyard and raising a Wall of Stone to corral the demon so he could not escape. It was impressive, to say the least. “Vax, is that Hotis?” she screamed, clearly freaked out.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was a strange way to cast Healing Word, but Vax would take it. “Yeah!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Holy shit!” Keyleth shouted.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s what I said!” he shouted back at her. “Blades! I think blades are the best way to go here, folks!” Then Vax turned and ran at the demon again, because why not? He was no longer bleeding profusely, and his friends were all here now. Vax pounced on Hotis, grappling him successfully at last. Maybe he’d just needed the morale boost from his family. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Fool me once, motherfucker!” Vax spit in his face, still livid that the demon had used the man he loved against him. Behind him, Vax heard the sound of his sister’s blazing bowstring, an almost musical twang he had heard many times. Flames burst from the demon’s robes, so Vax knew she’d hit, but really, Vex’ahlia never missed. </span>
  <em>
    <span>That’s my sister! </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What’s a Hotis?” he heard her shout. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The rakshasa was already on fire, but suddenly his body went stiff, his limbs splaying out as though he were on an invisible wheel of torture. Vax quickly let go of him, seeing Pike casting a spell in the distance. Wait, was Pike naked? No. Yes? Perhaps she was just wearing a red blouse? </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Vax backed up several steps, just in case the spell she was casting had blowback. Cracks of holy light appeared all across Hotis’ skin. “I will return!” he snarled. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, we’ll see you next time, shitface,” Vax said, flipping him the double bird. A column of fire burst from the demon’s body, scattering bits of fur and chunks of flesh in every direction. The column rose high into the sky, like a beacon that could be seen across the entire city of Whitestone.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But Vax was still pissed. As Pike walked up, using her shield as cover for her nudity, he told the group they should speak with Vanessa at the Slayer’s Take about not having warned them that the rakshasa would come back. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We watched him die,” Keyleth said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I stuck a knife through his throat and slit the front of it,” Vax said. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You killed him before?” Grog asked.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes.” Vax was quiet while Keyleth described their Slayer’s Take mission. Grog argued that they must not have finished the contract, but that was not at all how it had gone down. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>As Keyleth continued to reassure Grog that they had in fact killed Hotis the first time, Vax watched Percy walk toward the castle guard, as soldiers ran to them now from all directions to see what the commotion was. “Good job, guys! Totally on it!” Vex shouted to them, pissed at the lack of help in their time of need. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey, guys!” Vax shouted sarcastically, sounding like Vex’ahlia’s echo. Having heard Percy telling the guards to lock down the city because there were assassins on the loose, Vex’ahlia jumped onto her broom and flew up to scout for danger. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Can I ask you what you’re wearing?” Grog looked at Vax, squinting in confusion at his fancy robe. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s a robe,” Vax said. “It’s a beautiful brown…” He started to show off all of the fresh bloodstains that had turned the silver fabric maroon. “You know, I don’t want to wear this. I’m a little confused right now. I think I need to--” As everyone started asking him what happened, Vax tried to take the robe off. But all of a sudden, he felt so weak, he couldn’t even lift the hem. When Vax tried again, he felt like he couldn’t breathe. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Pike came over to try to help, but he pulled away from her. </span>
  <span>“Wait, stop. Everyone, stop. That thing came to me disguised as Gilmore. He told me he wanted to talk. We went for a walk, he gave me this--” Vax paused for a breath, seeing the look of disappointment and betrayal on Keyleth’s face. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He had to fix it, to make it clear that Vax had just been going on a walk with Gilmore as friends--even though that was a bold-faced lie, that didn’t matter right now. Vax’ildan’s anger with Hotis was flowing sideways into anger with Gilmore, and he was not going to lose Kiki over this fucking debaucle. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>So Vax continued, “Full disclosure, we all know he’s fucking sweet on me. We went for a stroll and then he turned into whatever he is, and then he fucking stabbed me in the gut.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The others were still confused. But the important part was  Keyleth now looked like she completely understood and was on his side. So lying had been the right thing to do. She and Vax explained to everyone what the rakshasa’s powers were, and finally he added, “We need to find him. We need to find Gilmore, and we need to find Allura now.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A cold sense of dread gripped Vax as it occurred to him for the first time: if Hotis had appeared to him as Gilmore, and Gilmore had never actually made it to the castle to meet Vax… What if something had happened to Gilmore? What if Hotis had done something to him before he’d arrived wearing Gilmore’s face? </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was at that precise moment that Keyleth came up behind Vax and tried to pull off the robe, taking his skin along with it. “Fuck me!” Vax shouted. Hadn’t he told them to fucking wait? </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When Grog offered to try next, Percy held him off and started shouting orders. The next thing he knew, Vex’ahlia and Percy were carrying Vax away together. He hung on to Vex’ahlia’s shoulders, needing the reassurance of his twin close by. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Keyleth said something about going to look for Allura and Gilmore, but Vax was too weak to give it much more thought than that. The twins and Percy went down and down, through the catacombs into the tunnel that led to the ziggurat. Percival instructed Vax to let him know if he started to feel strange the closer they got to the spinning ball of death™. And Vex joked--because this is what the twins did in times of crisis--that at least his bloody robe smelled better than the mantle of the Raven Queen. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Life’s not that bad. Life’s not that bad,” Vax repeated to himself, trying to breathe through the pain of having his skin torn off. Not far behind them, he could hear Grog talking to Scanlan, and felt better knowing more of his friends were close by. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When they reached the orb, the robe thankfully came off like plain fabric. As Vax got naked, Vex asked Grog if he had another fancy robe in the bag of holding for her brother to put on. “Nope, all out,” Grog announced, a bit gleefully. The joke was on him, because Vex was the one traumatized by her brother’s nudity, not Vax. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The twins squabbled about it until Grog confessed that he did have one more robe. Vex had to plead with Grog to give it over, but he did eventually relent. Unfortunately, in the presence of the orb, the bag of holding was just a bag now, with no robe--or anything else--inside. When Vex began to panic, Percy calmly told them to head upstairs and explained his plan for keeping the cursed robe until they knew the best way to destroy it without harming Vax. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Already bored with Percival’s speech after a sentence, Vax strutted proudly, naked as a jaybird, back into the tunnel leading to the catacombs. He heard his sister ask Grog to check if the bag of holding was working again. Then Vax felt a stinging snap against his backside, jumping and turning to see that Grog, the bastard, had wound up the robe to whip him with it. But Vax didn’t even care about Grog’s pranks anymore. He was just happy to be alive. </span>
</p>
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